Pretty In Bronze

 Hello,

It's been a long time since I've done a blog post and believe me when I say that it was not the plan. I haven't been able to wear makeup in a while now, and I haven't even been able to use most of my skincare either. I have a weird eczema (I think) situation going on with one spot on my nose that has been out of control. 

It started a few months back and got worse when I poked at it, but eventually calmed down. It's never gone away completely, but it was just flat, didn't itch, but looked pink. I thought it was acne at first, but I was very wrong about that. A few weeks back the spot was no longer flat and a tiny bump formed, soon turning into several bumps that all connected and suddenly that spot was red and angry. It was so bad that I had to wear a bandaid to hide it for video calls. The bandaid looked ridiculous and I had multiple co-workers message me to ask if my nose was ok, or if I'd gotten work done on my nose, but it was still better than having the Rudolph like spot on the bridge of my nose.

The bandaid worked for about three days before my skin reacted badly to the adhesive. I had blotches on both sides of the spot that were itchy and raised (it looked like contact dermatitis) so I had to put an end to hiding the spot, even though I could clearly see it in my peripheral vision.

What the spot looked like for most of February + irritation on the sides of my nose from the bandaids

My doctor isn't seeing patients aside for pregnancy-related appointments due to the pandemic. Because of this I resorted to doing online doctors appointments, but when I finally booked one, it lasted three minutes with me having to convince the doctor to go on camera to look at my nose. It didn't matter because she'd prescribed me antibiotics for cold sores before even looking at it and hung up before I could ask if she thought a warm compress could help. Of course the antibiotics did nothing, because the spot on my nose is most likely eczema. The cream I normally use did help, but it's been weeks since the flare up and it still hasn't fully gone away.

Before the flare up I tried using skincare, but everything would make the spot really red. I can't even wash my face with my cleanser or apply a moisturizer all over without it being irritated. I'm at a loss at this point and really want to see a dermatologist, but I need a doctor in order to do that and that isn't looking very plausible in the near future. When it finally calms down I'll go back to using skincare so I can hopefully find a good routine that won't irritate my apparently super-sensitive skin.

After a few weeks of applying my prescribe steroid cream for eczema MULTIPLE times a day (I'm talking three to five times a day) and not using any product aside from water on my face, the spot started to fade from the middle.

Slowly starting to heal from the middle outwards.

I'm hopeful, but still very annoyed because this spot is super noticeable and obviously not just acne. If you've ever experienced this, please let me know what I can do to make sure this dosn't happen again, or at least how to make it go away much quicker!

See you soon!

This has been a very strange and unfortunate time for the world and there's really no other way I can put that into words. As some of you may know, I was supposed to be getting married very soon, but with Covid-19, not only did the Ontario government declare a state of emergency and banned large gatherings, it simply wouldn't be safe. I do get to the point after several paragraphs of me ranting/giving some back story to our decision, so I will put headings in so you can skip the whole rant if you'd like to! I do want you to know if your wedding was also rescheduled/cancelled, or any event for that matter, that it's ok to be sad about it, even though other people may have it harder than you! Don't let others guilt you for feeling down about the situation.

Rant (And backstory)

My fiancé, Steven, has asthma. My mother, some of his parents, and a large percentage of our guests (60+) are considered high risk if they were to catch this awful virus. It all feels very dystopian or apocalyptic, which is stressful as it is, but it has also taken away countless celebrations, people's jobs and most importantly, peoples lives.

Planning a wedding is stressful on it's own and I had just come out of being stressed as everything had fallen into place. The only thing that we had left to purchase before all of this happened was our wedding flowers. We had made the final payments to our venue, had all vendors confirmed, my dress was almost ready to be picked up after being altered, and had all of the RSVP's ready to go with all of the required information. All we had left aside from flowers was having a rehearsal dinner/decoration making session the day before, writing our speeches (which to me is fun) and actually getting married the day of.

I like to browse Reddit fairly frequently, and not even two weeks ago I wasn't worried in the slightest about Covid-19 affecting our wedding. At the time, people were still saying it was blown out of proportion, and that the death rate was lower than the flu, etc. While on Reddit, a post from the wedding planning subreddit caught my eye. Someone had cancelled their wedding, which was two weeks away. I was shocked and clicked on it, learning that several guests had backed out. This was before any shutdowns occurred on this side of the globe.

"Things will cool down by our wedding," I told Steven, completely sure of myself. None of our guests had cancelled and at that point, we hadn't even received one inquiry about the virus. I was home with my puppy for two days at that point because she had just gotten spayed and also had a preventative gastropexy done, and my job allows working from home, so naturally I stayed back to keep an eye on her and her incision. The day after her surgery I received an email from the company I work at, telling people to prepare to work from home. Everyone would have a week to get their things together before not being allowed back at the office for the foreseeable future.  I was already at home so I didn't need to go back, but I was happy because my company cares about its employees, even if the decision seemed unnecessary to me.

A few days later, the whole company was home as the cases escalated too quickly. The questions from guests started pouring in. Even now as I post this, we don't know if weddings in Ontario will be allowed with over 50 guests by the original date. Even if they were, we wouldn't want it to happen anymore and risk anyones health, on top of wasting a bunch of money for only a portion of the invited guests to show up. We learned that the venue would only contact us if they knew for certain that they could not operate on the day, but it would be last minute.

When we rescheduled - What is happening now

I couldn't go on every day, not knowing what was happening, so I emailed the venue, requesting to reschedule.

Thankfully for us, it all worked out. A summer date was available and the only downside is that it's a Friday rather than a Saturday. We get to keep our original room that I fell in love with, same start time, and all of our vendors are available and we're happy to reschedule. We're expecting less people to be able to attend now, but that doesn't matter to us. What matters is that most will be there, and our guests will be much safer at that point (we hope) than they would be attending a wedding right now.

If things improve, we should still have a great wedding day because we'll be marrying each other, and it helps that there's less chance for rain as well. We can order our flowers in time and now have months to finalize our speeches, practice dancing, improve our speech and tan naturally (with sunscreen of course).

I'm not really sure what I'm hoping to get out there with this post other than to say how grateful I am that we got so lucky, and are so lucky during this crisis. If you're having a wedding soon and are worried, please reach out to your vendors and see if you can reschedule. Living with the stress of not knowing what's happening is awful and I promise you that you'll feel much better about it! Of course I'm still worried because this thing is only getting more and more serious, so there's a chance that the new date will also be rescheduled or cancelled altogether, but if it gets to that point, the wedding really isn't a priority.

Stay inside unless you have to go to work, or need to get food. If everyone who is able to do this or work from home cooperates, this thing will improve and we'll have a better chance at finding a cure or at least better manage it. And for the love of all things holy, don't go out if you're feeling ill and especially not if you have tested positive, or have the symptoms of Covid-19.

Don't believe everything you read on the internet, but instead use reputable sources, such as https://www.who.int/emergencies/diseases/novel-coronavirus-2019 . They have a mythbusters section that includes a lot of the misinformation that's been spread around, so be smart and think critically!

I hope all of you reading this are doing ok and I'm SO sorry if you're not. I can't personally help, but there are tons of resources out there for you. Don't be afraid to reach out to your loved ones (safely, on the phone or computer). If we all work together, we can get through this much quicker.

I'm going to try and focus on lifestyle and beauty for the next little while as a distraction. On a random note, if you enjoy reading fantasy, check out my newest story that I've been updating weekly on Wattpad, Apollo's Prophecy :)

See you soon!

Hello!

I have a very different type of post for today. This is purely related to wedding planning and budgeting, so if that's not your thing, that's ok! Keep an eye out for future beauty and lifestyle related posts coming soon!

One of the most stressful parts of a wedding is how expensive they can be. Even the best budgeters will have trouble not going over in any categories and unexpected expenses seem to pop up every now and then.

The Government of Canada actually has a very useful spreadsheet available on their website, free of charge. I modified the spreadsheet a lot to cater it towards my wedding. Here's a screenshot with some of the totals blocked out for privacy reasons.

This is a bit different for me in terms of reviews, but one of my 2020 internet goals is to transition this blog to include more lifestyle posts, rather than focusing on makeup and skincare since I haven't been purchasing as much as I used to. Lifestyle makes more sense for me because it's... my life. I really appreciate when the influencers I watch talk about real life, so when Samantha Ravndahl and Raw Beauty Kristi reviewed period cups, I was very intrigued after hearing about them for years. Both specifically raved about the Saalt Soft Menstrual Cup.



It seemed like the Saalt Soft cup was the most comfortable period cup and had the highest reviews, so I finally caved and ordered it. I hate pads and tampons for many reasons. First and foremost, they make it a lot easier for me to get a UTI because I'm SUPER prone to them and every UTI I've ever gotten that wasn't condom related has conveniently been right after finishing my period. Pads are super annoying for that reason and because I have to wear bulkier underwear to feel comfortable in them. Tampons are just very uncomfortable for me. I don't have a heavy flow, so they're really annoying to put in and take out. I'm talking the full eight hours of wear and then it's still dry and let me tell you... taking out a dry tampon is NOT a nice feeling. They're also not good for your body in general and on top of that, disposable period products are very expensive! Only a few years ago we still had to pay tax on them in Canada. Another thing that finally pushed me towards buying a period cup is how wasteful pads and tampons can be.

I've always been a reuse type of person (I save all the gift bags and wrapping I can for when I'm giving presents to others). I never really thought about the environment and how bad period products were for it until people started mentioning it online. I have had a period since I was only eleven years old. I'm 24 now. That's 169 periods so far. My period is normally the full seven days, so at minimum I've used 1183 pads and tampons. Realistically, I've used about 1300 since it's not only one a day when it comes to tampons. That's a lot of waste for one person who is still pretty young. Period cups are reusable and the Saalt one says it can be used for up to ten years with proper care, so that's a lot less waste and for me the amount of money I spend on period products in one to two years (about $50 because I have a light flow) can potentially cover ten years with one period cup.


Saalt Soft Menstrual Cup Claims & Features

- Reusable up to ten years if you take good care of it and store it properly
- Comes with a pretty storage bag
- You only need to change it twice a day
- The soft version is more flexible
- No toxins, hypoallergenic and it's chemical free unlike many period products out there
- It's made with medical-grade silicone
- Made in the USA
- Vegan!
- They donate money from every purchase to HER International.

The cup comes with a lot of instructions (and their website is super helpful as well) to make it easy to understand how to use the cup and how to take care of it. They have a lot of information on their website so I recommend doing some research into the sizing because everyone's vagina is unique, but I personally went for the small size because according to their size guide it would work best. I'm under thirty years old and I've never given birth. The small size fits three tampons worth of blood while the regular fits four. Given the fact that when I did wear tampons I went for the tiny ones due to comfort and such a light flow, I knew the small would be the best fit for me. Their cervix positioning explanation made me feel even more confident because I have a tilted cervix, and they include that in their information.

I know there are now a ton of video reviews of the cup, but I wanted to to a day-by-day review of using this cup for the first time. Perhaps in a few months I'll do a video to update you on it, but the following is my first week using the Saalt cup!


Day 1: Light flow (Medium for me)

I did the C fold method when I woke up and it was almost too easy to the point where I was convinced I must have inserted the cup wrong. I followed the instructions to check that it had suctioned properly by using my finger to check and it was definitely secure! I didn't push it in deep enough so I did feel it a little bit when walking. but when I went to the washroom at work, I pushed it slightly and then I couldn't feel it at all anymore. I did wear a panty liner just to be safe.

Going to the washroom (both #1 and #2) didn't make the cup fall out at all. I was definitely aware of it, but didn't feel like it was coming out or losing suction at all. I was also happy that there was no leakage so I knew I'd be safe without a panty liner.

When I got home I emptied the cup and was surprised at how little blood there actually was in comparison to what a pad or tampon looked like. I was a little scared at first when going to take it out because the cup sucked in further, but I used my muscles to push it out (very easy) and pinched the cup to make it lose suction before easily pulling it out. It wasn't messy on the outside so it was easy to spill out and go to the sink. I washed the cup out and made sure the little air holes were clear and cleaned the area to make sure no blood would get out and put the cup back in using the other folding method, the punch-down fold.

I then went to the gym, couldn't feel it at all when working out (mainly cardio, but also squats) so I was pretty stoked. I kept it in for my shower since I had cleaned the area beforehand and changed the cup right before going to bed.

Overnight was perfect as well. I couldn't feel it and slept comfortably and confidently that there wouldn't be any leaks and there weren't the next morning!

Day 2: Medium Flow (Heavy for me)

DISASTER. The cup went in fine to my knowledge, but when I went to the washroom much later in the day (six hours in) my underwear was completely stained with blood. I don't know what I did wrong, but I suspect I forgot to twist the cup to create a strong suction. I did the finger trick to make sure the cup wasn't still folded anywhere, but I guess that isn't enough. I'm annoyed that this happened on the second day after the first day was so perfect, but I guess I was too confident.

I showered as soon as I got home with the cup out, cleared all of the blood out and put the cup in again, making sure I twisted it after checking that it wasn't folded. This time I put a pantyliner back in my underwear just to be safe. I think I'll keep doing that until I can go at least two days without any leaks. I'm not concerned because there was no leaking at all on day one, so I know it's not the cups fault, but just user error.

Day 3: Medium Flow

I ended up putting the cup in correctly the night before so I woke up without any leaks, walked the dog  and then worked out all before 6 in the morning. I took it out to shower, washed it out and put it back in and to be safe I put a panty-liner in my underwear. Before leaving for work I needed to use the washroom and it turns out I didn't put it in far enough. I had no leaking, but it did pop out a little bit so I had to put it back in and do the twist method to try and re-secure it. After several hours and a few washroom visits, I wasn't leaking. After getting home and taking the dogs on a walk, I emptied the cup and all was good. There was a bit of blood on the outside rim, but I think that got there while removing the cup. It was pretty difficult for me to get it to suction properly when putting it back in, despite trying to get all of the air out though. It's very strange that some times it's really easy and sometimes I struggle, but I'm just happy I didn't have any leaks today and I have hope that I'll get to the point where I always get it right and no longer have to use liners.

Day 4: Light Flow

No leaks in the morning! As long as you get the suction right at the start, leaks won't happen. I have realized that I've been waking up with more urgency to pee, so I think the cup is making my bladder a bit more sensitive. Several hours later and we were at the mall where I was trying on pants. I had one tiny dot of blood in my pantyliner so that wasn't from leaking, but likely blood that was leftover on the sides.

Days 5–7: Basically non-existent

Some months I have a very light flow on the last few days on my periods, and others, like this month, I basically have nothing except for discharge. I never know if I'll randomly have blood again after a day of nothing, so I wore the cup for the last three days regardless. I had no issues at all with it and figured out a schedule that worked well for me to only change the cup once every 12 hours. It collected the discharge without a problem and continued to be easy to wash out so I was really pleased! At the end, I washed the cup out well and left it to air dry in my ventilated bathroom before putting it back in the cloth pouch that came with the Saalt cup, having it ready for my next period.


Final Thoughts

I'm very impressed with this! I definitely recommend trying to make the switch to a cup for all the reasons at the beginning of this blog post and more.

I thought for sure I'd have more than one day of leaking on my first ever week of using a period cup, but I'm pleasantly surprised that I adjusted quickly. The FAQ section of the Saalt website and video instructions makes it really easy to learn. I felt a million times more comfortable using the cup than I do when I've used tampons in the past. It's also way more comfortable than wearing a pad and I didn't at any point feel like I'd be getting a UTI, which is even nicer. Working out is much easier with the cup and I can wear nicer underwear that doesn't give me intense panty lines, which just helps me dress and feel a bit better during my period.

The only downsides I felt was that I definitely had to pee more often with the cup in, and I felt slightly more cramping than usual. I know most people haven't experienced the cramping with the cup, but I'm just sensitive in general so I wanted to mention it. For reference, tampons made me cramp pretty badly on the rare occasions that I would wear one, and pads would just give me a weird dull throbbing down there that wasn't pleasant at all and thankfully the cup doesn't do that to me.

I hope this review was helpful to anyone considering trying a period cup! I'll see you soon with some beauty/bodycare content!

This is just a regular life post I've been wanting to make ever since getting Sophie, the newest edition to our little family. I feel like this can be helpful for people who are looking into getting a puppy, as well as those that are struggling with a puppy, or have the puppy blues. I have a video at the end of when I got Sophie, but this post is mainly to focus on my pre-existing anxiety, puppy blues and how I'm doing much better and hope you will too! I also included the puppy vlog at the end of this blog post that we filmed before and when we first got Sophie!

Hello!

Instagram

I have lost a lot of followers, but it seems like they were the annoying spammy followers that you get every time you post a photo. I've noticed over the years that I get a lot of accounts (including some major brands) that would follow me, and unfollow after a few days, only to follow me again a few weeks later. This is apparently very common as they are hoping for you to follow them back and not notice what they've done. While it is a bit discouraging to see the numbers falling, at least I know that my true followers will remain and continue interacting with my posts, even though the algorithm makes it difficult to get seen without annoying everyone with hashtags. This year I've stuck to my instagram layout/theme for the most part which has seemed to help with engagement. I hope to continue with the same layout in 2019, or altering it eventually, but that really depends on some of my goals for 2019.

YouTube

The year started out better because Steven and I had our apartment with good lighting. I felt more motivated to post, but with the loss of being a YouTube partner (I don't meet the criteria anymore as I have under 1,000 subscribers and less than 400 hours of video views a year), I also lost the money I was making from ads. It wasn't a lot, but I used to use my YouTube money to purchase makeup or beauty tools to feature on my channel. Without that, I can't buy nearly as much makeup, which gives me way less content to produce since my own entertainment budget is tiny (most people, including my own mother, don't understand how I do it) so I rely on gifts and free products sent in PR. I started posting less videos and focusing more on Instagram and this blog after I noticed that I was barely getting views, and a lot of thumbs down. I know a majority of the thumbs downs are trolls that are coming from one particular video of mine... or two... but it still really bothered me (still does), but near the end of the year I posted a few videos, despite the lack of real viewers and all of the thumbs downs, while living in a crappy basement with terrible lighting. In 2019 I hope to post more as soon as we move out and I have access to my lighting and makeup again.

Life

A lot has happened in 2019 in my personal life. For one, I got engaged! I have two posts so far talking about the ring if you're interested. This means some wedding content will be sprinkled in here and there once we actually get started on planning—though you can see all of my inspiration on my 'Wedding' Pinterest board. We moved from our apartment that I loved into Steven's mom's house temporarily as we didn't know if we'd have to move for his job or not. While it meant (and still currently means) my commute is 2+ hours each way to work every day, we are saving a lot of money since we're paying very little rent comparatively that can help us buy a house sooner, and pay for our wedding. On top of that, I got a promotion and raises, I released my debut YA Fantasy novel, I wrote  second novel and so much more has happened!

2019 Goals

It's been a crazy year for us so with that in mind, I have a few goals that I will share with you. I won't be sharing anything big or very important because RawKristiBeauty made a great point (based on a few research studies) that you are less likely to achieve your goals if you tell others about it. I know other studies say the complete opposite, but I've never tried this before so we'll see how it goes. I'll just share a few small goals that don't really matter.

Wear Earrings 

Yes, that's literally one of my goals. I love the look of earrings on people, but I suck at wearing them. My mom gave me a cute pair of diamond earrings for my birthday that I actually wore for a few months. My biggest issue is that if I take them off to sleep, I'll never remember to put them back in, so I wore those for three months straight and they got so gross (TMI) that I almost ripped my ear trying to get them off. My goal is to make an effort to put earrings on most days, and if I sleep with them in, take them out at least once a week to clean everything well. If I can stick to this, I'd love to get a second piercing as a gift to myself in 2020!

Taking a Pictures Every Time I Wear Makeup

I know it sounds silly, but I honestly forget most of the time. When it's time to add a new face picture to my feed, I have nothing. I wear makeup once a week, and post a face picture once a week, but every several weeks it will be twice since I try to post every other day. Because of this, I need to have a good picture of my makeup every single time I wear it. If that means wearing makeup more than once a week, that's fine, but I am going to try really hard this year to do this right.

Scheduling Content

This is something I've done for the past few months and it's really helped me on Instagram and my blog. When I have free time and nothing else to do, I want to write as much as I can up for blog posts, or edit product pictures and start scheduling those posts to ensure I have a more consistent blog and feed. My actual goal is to have at least two instagram pictures a week realistically (every other day as my big goal), and at least one blog post a week. It doesn't sound like much, but for me that would be huge if I can actually stick to it.

Painting My Nails at Least Once a Week

Another huge deal for me. 2018 was the first year that I didn't bite all of my nails off. I've been biting my nails excessively since I was five years old (a byproduct of my General Anxiety Disorder... yes diagnosed) to the point where they'd constantly be bleeding. I did almost 'relapse' a few times and caught myself biting small pieces off, but it never got really bad like I used to be. Taking multivitamins every day (or at least 90% of days) definitely helped strengthen them and help them grow faster, but I am proud. I set that goal for myself because I knew I'd either be getting engaged in 2018 or 2019 and didn't want my old disgusting nails with a beautiful ring (shallow I know) and that truly motivated me to not bite them. Painting my nails about once a week really helped stop me from biting as well. Because of that, I want to continue that into 2019 so my nails can remain nice and... normal. Maybe I'll even stop biting the skin around my nails... but that might be unrealistic for me.

Washing Brushes Once a Week

Another goal that seems easy, but is hard for many. I used to be really good about this, but now that I only wear makeup once a week, I've gotten really bad at it. I always think it'll be fine to use them a second time a week later, but I always end up breaking out. Because of that, I want to wash them once a week. If I end up wearing makeup more than once I have enough brushes to do another full face of makeup, but then I'll have more to wash.


I have a few other goals, but these are the smaller ones that I'm willing to share. Let me know if you have any goals that you aren't keeping to yourself and if you have any questions or comments about my goals or anything. I hope 2018 has been good to you and that 2019 will be even better!

See you soon!

Hello!

This is just a small post I'm writing to talk about my engagement ring. This is not in any way meant to show off, but I wanted a place to put pictures of it so I can share them on Pinterest and have somewhere to link back to since this first photo is going around without linking back to me. I'll go more in depth of another big reason why I decided to share this after my description of the ring. Finally, I've also gotten A LOT of questions about the ring from pretty much every single person that has seen it, so I wanted to make a post where all of the information and links are provided to make everything easily accessible.


My ring setting is a 14k Rose Gold Petite Pave Cathedral engagement ring from James Allen. The website does a great job at showing you up close (360 degree view) what your ring will look like with different shaped stones as examples. My stone is a Charles & Colvard Forever One Colourless Cushion Moissanite. It's approximately 1.3ct in weight, but it measures 6.5mm wide (the same length on each side). We purchased the loose stone from Fire & Brilliance since they were having a sale that made it even more affordable and they are an official retailer so the lifetime warranty is included. We also bought the setting when it was on sale for 25% off. If you don't already know about moissanite, check out this FAQ page on the Charles & Colvard website.

I wrote a full experience post about James Allen since getting the setting from them ended up being a huge rollercoaster ride (and not the fun type). I won't be writing about my experience with Fire & Brilliance since I can just tell you now that they're perfect! Their customer service is amazing, they have very fast shipping and they deserve all the publicity!

I'm going to include a few close-up shots I took as I was writing this. The ring was not clean at all when I took these and I was just using my side-table lamp in the basement so you won't see it sparkle as much as the outdoor photo above, but you'll be able to see the details a bit better!


 That's it for my engagement ring! I feel super weird posting this, but I know so many people wanted to know all about it and after Steven and I's experience having it made we wanted people to know more since a lot of the information I provide in my experience posts were not readily available online for Canadians.

Thank you so much for the support! Please let me know if you have any jewellery cleaners you swear by (specifically for 14k gold) since I clearly need to get some.

See you soon!

Before Ordering

Ordering My Ring

After Sending off the Ring / Making the Ring

Shipping

The Ring